Last night was brilliant. This morning, less so.

Every glass washed in hot soapy water (50-200 glasses at a typical party), rinsed, dried, and polished lint-free. Champagne flutes particularly need lint-free polishing (lint ruins the bubbles visually). Wine glasses polished. Tumblers polished. Decanters cleaned (use a decanter cleaning brush with rice and warm soapy water — the rice agitates the inside). Cocktail shakers washed. Glassware returned to cupboard or displayed per your preference. Broken glass swept up (we use a damp paper towel to pick up glass dust — sweeps miss it) and disposed of safely. Every glass ready for the next party — or just for everyday use.

Crockery (30-100 plates at a typical party) washed, dried, returned to cupboard. Cutlery washed, dried, sorted, returned. Serving dishes washed. Pots and pans: soaked if needed (burnt-on food needs 30-60 minutes of soaking), washed with appropriate chemistry (stainless steel with non-scratch sponge, non-stick with non-scratch sponge, cast iron with hot water and a brush — never soap on cast iron), dried, returned. Oven if used: wiped out. Hob: cleaned. Kitchen counters: sanitised. Sink: cleaned. Kitchen floor: swept and mopped. Bins: emptied, new liner fitted. The kitchen reset — ready for normal life again.

Sticky floors from spilled drinks are mostly sugar — standard mopping just spreads the sugar around. We sweep first (removes loose debris), then hot-mop with a sugar-dissolving chemistry (alkaline-based, breaks down sugar). Two mops if needed (first mop dissolves the sugar, second mop removes the dissolved sugar). Corners and edges detailed (where sticky residue accumulates). Hard floor (wood, laminate, tile, lino) — appropriate chemistry per floor type. Carpet — dry soil vacuumed, then carpet-safe spot treatment for sticky spots. The floor is the most visible post-party surface — we make it non-sticky and non-smelly.

Red wine on carpet or rug: stage 1, blot immediately with paper towel (never scrub — scrubbing pushes the wine deeper into the carpet and backing). Stage 2: cover the stain with table salt (the salt draws the wine out of the carpet). Stage 3: leave for 10-15 minutes, then vacuum the salt. Stage 4: apply specialist red-wine remover (we use Wine Away or equivalent), contact time per manufacturer. Stage 5: blot again to remove moisture. Stage 6: repeat if the stain persists. Old red wine stains (set overnight) are harder — we may recommend professional carpet cleaning for set-in stains. We'll always try treatment first.

Candle wax on tablecloth, surface, or carpet: stage 1, freeze the wax with an ice cube (the wax becomes brittle). Stage 2: scrape off the bulk of the wax with a plastic scraper (never metal — metal scratches surfaces). Stage 3: for fabric (tablecloth, carpet), place brown paper (or kitchen paper) over the wax residue, and iron on a low heat — the wax melts and is absorbed by the paper. Repeat with fresh paper until no more wax is absorbed. Stage 4: treat any remaining stain with appropriate chemistry (grease-removing for the wax residue). Stage 5: launder fabric if washable. For wax on hard surfaces (table, mantelpiece), scrape and wipe with hot soapy water.

Confetti and glitter are the post-party menace — they get into every corner, every crack, every fabric fold, and regular vacuums just blow them around (glitter is too light for standard vacuum suction). We use a HEPA vacuum (CRN-rated, sealed filtration, captures 99.97% of particles 0.3 microns — including glitter) with a soft brush attachment. Corners and edges detailed. Confetti vacuumed from carpets, sofas, cushions, curtains. Glitter vacuumed from every surface (it gets everywhere — we mean everywhere). For particularly stubborn glitter (ground into carpet), we may use a lint roller followed by HEPA vacuum. The glitter protocol is genuine — we've handled post-wedding glitter explosions.